#you're never alone

[jindongdongie]

rip moonbin. (raw and unedited, bcs I need to get it out.♡)

I've never really gone into depth about what kpop means to me, but it all goes back to my thoughts on living life, embracing people & experiencing them, and learning from them, and being inspired by people from all walks of life to shape my character, world view and ultimately share that with the world.

ASTRO and Moonbin have and will always be an inspiration for me, to let love shine through, to be hardworking, passionate and diligent in everything I do, so that no matter who sees it, whether they no me closely or not, the message shines through.

I have been grieving so many things for the past 3 years. Time is such a strange thing, it seems like it's flying when things are mundane but when you have so much pain to carry, minutes can feel like hours, days even. This pain was yet another stab in the heart and I'm grateful that I took the time to process it for as long as I did... (please everyone take your time to move through grief. Everyone may not understand, but it's unique to everyone and it's completely ok to be sad and feel terrible for as long as you need to. Everyone's pace is not yours.)

I mourn with so many people such a beautiful light, but I know first hand, that the pain I feel will never measure up to what those that were closest to Moobin will experience. I can only imagine, from experiencing his glow through the internet what a blessing it was to be around, be acquainted with, be cared for and loved by him. I'm sending prayers to all those who were close to him and that have met him and been touched by him because that special little ache will always be there...it will be there through the pain and through the healing.

I'm grateful to have experienced him, his vlives when I couldn't sleep, and his beautiful voice and spirit, to feel encouraged to be afraid but do it anyway, that no matter how small my contribution to his life may have been in my eyes, it was worth showing my love and appreciation for his talent, art and dream, and although it is a reality so bittersweet and heavy to accept, it keeps me encouraged to become the person I know it's possible to be.

Someone who encourages. Someone who lives and spreads light. Someone who tries their best and then another 1000%. Someone passionate about a dream. Because no matter what your flaw, your intentions, your purpose and your light shines through, like it did with Moonbin to all of us.

My heart aches, it hurts...but I'm grieving and growing, and using all the hurt to push forward. Life is so hard, and no one will ever know every single struggle someone else has, but we should all strive together to be the best we can be, because someone needs the vibe that is unique to one person alone. Your quirks, your kindness. You.

You are needed. You are loved. Please keep going. Live is crazy, short and amazing. Live it up, be true to yourself and have no regrets.

Thank you Moonbinnie, for simply being who you were and shining on this world. You'll always be in my heart.

RIP.

[rockattitudegr]

Οι Dirty Caravan παρουσιάζουν το νέο τους single-video clip με τίτλο “You’re never alone” απο το επερχόμενο άλμπουμ “Drops”.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji goes to Lotus Pier (No relation to the AU of the same name)

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[autoraton]

same as it never was.

[smile-files]

NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU

NO ONE ELSE CAN HELP YOU

(objectober 2024 day 20: dream)

[swamp-cats-den]

This is so funny.

When the westerners see a post complaining of russophobia they imagine a young queer intellectual stuck in russia, hating the regime to the core and being all bleeding heart for the suffering Ukrainians.

Meanwhile, the same very person complaining of russophobia in one post boasts about literal war trophies brought from the occupied Ukrainian territories by their war criminal father in another, fills their artworks with modern russian military symbols, and tags the posts about their relatives participating in invasion with 'lol memes'.

It is honestly funny how much goodwill russians are still given for absolutely nothing while Ukrainians have to constantly prove that we deserve, well, to at least not be massacred.

[yesloulou]

when ur murderous puppy dog of an ex-boyf defends ur honor or something

[adhbabey]

Let's talk about some lesser known symptoms of autism! Maybe this will help some of you get a broader perspective on what this can be like. There is a whole grab bag of symptoms of autism, but here are some ones you may not know that you have.

Focus on truth

What does this mean? Well glad you asked. This is the focus on facts and logic rather than anything else. People have shown this as autistic people may refusing to lie because it goes against what they find as true. But that's not always the case.

Have you ever used logic to try and figure out your emotions?

Are you someone who doesn't understand why others may speculate when the current knowledge is right there? (such as subtext versus canon knowledge or theoretical arguments)

Do you find it frustrating when others avoid their problems as a way to avoid figuring out negative things? (such as avoiding conflict in a friend group)

Is it easy for you to talk about your strengths and flaws? Do you know your likes, dislikes and limits pretty well?

High context communication

This is preference on details and the full context of any situation. Often going into great detail and backstory to anything.

Do you feel as though you need to overexplain to give the person everything they need to know?

Have you ever apologized to someone by explaining the deep and meaningful reasons of why you did it, before you said you were sorry? And maybe even felt upset or confused why they reacted badly?

Have you ever felt stressed out because you wanted to give others full detail but they either interrupted you or cut you off?

Are you stressed out by people who tell you what to do and not why they want you to do it?

Are you ever told that you talk back a lot?

Do you prefer recipes versus verbal/vague instructions? (All the things that you need such as ingredients, measurements, prep time, etc.)

Do you really like watching deep dives and knowing about the whole history of something you're even vaguely interested in?

Identity diffusion

This is not everyone's experience, and it is common in a variety of other disorders such as DID and BPD. However, it is when you do not know who you are in regards to others. This is also known as identity disturbance.

Have you ever felt like an outsider without knowing why?

Are you deeply interested on what other people think of you? Especially if it's all the time?

Do you really like taking personality tests and quizzes? Are you interested in horoscopes?

Do you feel like you don't fit in any one specific group? Either being a loner, or hopping in between many different groups?

Do you ever feel weirder than the "weird kids" group? Do you not really get along or feel like you belong with them?

Do you have low self esteem when it comes to comparing yourself to your friends? Do you feel like they're better or more capable than you?

Do you feel drastically unimportant and not as interesting or cool as everyone else?

Have you ever related to narratives surrounding a character that is the last of their kind?

Do you feel like your identity is a vast and gaping void, that even if you learn a little bit, that you'll never know everything?

Internalized repetition

This is one of those traits that not every autistic person experiences, but that some might. You could say that for all autistic traits, but hey, good to know regardless. Because of internalized repetition, you may not do many external stims, besides vocal.

Do you listen to a song over and over again? Perhaps having a playlist on repeat?

When stressed out, do you type the same word or phrase over and over again?

Do you like looking at the same things, such as the same color or the same artist's works?

Do you really like certain patterns, crystals or aesthetics?

Do you enjoy games with recognizable fighting patterns? (Such as character rotation, boss battle rotation, etc.)

Struggling to connect to others *

This is something that's been characterized by struggling to connect to others through their emotions, but the opposite is actually true for many autistic people. *I will be talking about those who struggle to connect to others who are emotionally distant or unavailable. Being emotionally distant or not showing emotions externally is a trait that many autistic people share, but for those without alexithymia, they may struggle to understand why anyone wouldn't like to talk about their emotions. I don't know the specific symptom term for this, so please bare with me. If anyone would like to inform me about what this is called, please tell me.

Do you struggle to talk with dry texters, or tend to over-examine people's tone through text?

Do you have anxious attachment?

Do you feel disconnected with many other autistic people and struggle to make friends or talk to them?

Do you feel embarrassment or shame with being emotionally sensitive?

Have you fallen down the rabbit hole of things like starseeds, star children or empaths?

Do you want to talk about serious emotions a lot, even when its not appropriate?

Do you trauma dump or wish people would become more emotionally intimate with you? Do you enjoy it when people share their deep traumas with you, even if it's triggering?

Are you constantly reassurance seeking?

There is plenty more symptoms out there, and these are just a few that stood out to me, because I think I may be autistic. I've always related somewhat, but never connected the dots. But there are reasons for that, such as identity diffusion and thinking I'm different from everyone else no matter what. I struggled because I didn't seem to have a lot of the outward and visible symptoms that were often talked about. I thought every autistic person had alexithymia, when that's just not true. My best friend, who has similar symptoms to me, along with another close friend of mine, have a similar presentation of autism. And it's taken quite a bit for me to accept or process. I feel like I'm faking my experiences just because I've self diagnosed before. And I'm angry that ADHD isn't given enough significance.

But I think I might be autistic, and this article that I based this post off of, confirmed it. So here's my post informing and coming out on that. You can be autistic and highly masking without actually knowing what's going on is masking. You can be autistic and have a spectrum of verbality, you can be autistic and struggle to connect to anyone who isn't immediately emotionally intimate with you. You can be autistic and not relate at all to other autistic people.

You're not alone.

[wistfulwatcher]

6.18 Lauren | 17.05 Conspiracy vs. Theory

[positivelypositive]

🍄

'keep going'...

...does not mean that you cannot rest.

it means that even in the face of difficulties, giving up is not the answer. rest if you must, and then pick yourself up and keep going.

you have the strength in you. keep going ✨

[starry-bi-sky]

realizing i have. a lot of untapped trauma potential for clone^2 danny because i just Fully Processed Four Months Late the fact that his parents were capturing and torturing ghosts in the basement before he became Phantom. and the fact that he was on house rest for 2 weeks. during that time period. and he wasn't really leaving the house. he could hear their screaming through the floorboards

*points at clone danny* i can give you suuuuuuch a bad time babe ahaha. i've got two untouched years before you meet damian what fucks you up before then

[breegadey]

i see... i see...

[chrisbangs]

231003 ♡ Happy Birthday Bang Chan!

[ant1quarian]

ink is a sociopath

does this make him a bad person?

absolutely not.

he can't feel empathy or remorse and my guy (gender neutral) that doesn't mean he's always got to be the villian

free this man of the stereotypes

let him be silly and fun and free without . people automatically making him a villainous character due to his lack of emotions

[inkskinned]

this is sort of pathetic, but when you were younger, you were sort of puzzled by the cartoon representations of fathers: how a kid would be outside with a mitt, waiting to play catch.

it's not that your father never played catch with you, but you also didn't like when he did. something about a hard ball coming quickly towards your face doesn't seem exciting. not that you'd ever say you don't trust him. you trust him, right?

it's not like he never tried to teach you anything. or never tried to parent. on rare days, a strange person would walk in your father's skin. bright, happy, magnificent. this version of your father was so cheerful and charismatic that you would do anything to keep him. and this is the version of your father that would laugh and gently coax you try again. this is the version of your father that would break down the small elements of a problem and point them out so you have an easier time with them.

as a kid, those days happened more often. but somewhere around 11, you started being too much of a person, and he was often cross about it. when he'd try to sit you down to learn something, you spent the whole time with your shoulders around your ears, nervous, uncertain. terrified because you didn't immediately understand how to navigate something. worried you will run out of his goodwill and then you will have the Other Father back, and you will have ruined a good day for your entire family. something about you being visibly afraid - it just made him angry. he would accuse you of not wanting to learn and storm away.

on tv, it's not like there's a lot of versions of men-who-are-mostly-fathers. they can be good dads, but usually their stories are not told in the household. so it's normal that your father is there, but he's never around. you know he was in the house, somewhere, it's just not that you guys ever... "hung out". he just seemed to get kind of bored of you, annoyed you weren't made in his perfect image. frustrated with how much energy it took to raise a kid. over time, you kind of adopt a bittersweet band around your throat - he knows nothing about me. he says at least i never abandoned my family.

and it's technically - technically - true. he was there for you. sometimes he even made an effort and made it to the big moments; the graduations and the dance recitals. he grins and tells everyone that he taught you. it almost erases the days in between, where he complains because you need a ride to school. the weeks that go by where he doesn't actually ever speak to you. the times you say i am struggling and he says figure it out on your own. i can't help you.

and that's fine! that's all fine. you can call him if you are having a problem with your car. or if you need a ride to the hospital. he loves playing hero, he just doesn't like the actual work that comes with being a father. and you've kind of made your peace with that; because you had to, because you don't want to live your life like he does; the whole world at a managed distance, a little rotating and controlled orb he can witness and take credit for but never truly love.

as an adult, you are rewatching some dumb cartoon - and again, the child standing in the rain, with a mitt, waiting for their father to come play catch. as an adult, there's this strange creeping dread - this little thing? this little thing, and their dad can't even show up for that? oh god, holyshit, it's not about the mitt, is it. oh god, holyshit, your father spent most of your life leaving you hanging.

[just-paradox-things]

If there's anything I've learned about being human in 18 years, it's that you're never completely alone. There's surely someone somewhere in the world who understands intimately what you're going through, and they may not be as far away as you think. I'm here for you if you ever need to reach out. 👍

having some feelings, thinking about the way that my switches seem to happen and just... wondering if it's at all "normal" and if anyone else experiences it like that. Mostly because I only have experience with myself and with a very disordered, very internally antagonistic system with a piece of shit core/host (my ex)...

So it's like...

Generally, switches feel almost voluntary? Like, when I finally got back into the driver's seat on Saturday night (Adam was driving most of the day), it was after having an actual internal conversation about like, how I wanted to be fronting again and missed my partner and he was just like "yeah sure".

But it wasn't like, immediate. It was this slow, gentle shift from Adam's mental landscape/mindset into my own over a few minutes (and also started happening during the "conversation" between me and him). Though it totally feels like, if I wanted to, I could probably make a switch happen and that doesn't feel... "right" to me.

Mostly because like, my experience with my ex was that his switches were absolutely involuntary and usually happened almost instantaneously or if not, he'd kind of half pass out with some of them.

I know co-consciousness is totally a thing that other systems have experienced, but he didn't have any of that and I keep thinking/feeling like... that it's evidence of me "faking" somehow. IDK.

Consider this me asking the plural comm what co-fronting or co-consciousness feels like for y'all? Or what it feels like for y'all to have a switch???